February Mentor Tip of the Month

The Power of Active Listening

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”  Robert McCloskey

I’m sorry…what was that quote?  It’s pretty funny actually.  Not to mention, quite telling.  Listening is tough business.  I mean REALLY listening.  It’s something we all look for, but often are challenged to be able to give to others.  When I practiced as a therapist, people would ask me all the time, “How do you remember that about me?”  Well, every therapist knows, it’s not as magical as it appears.  It is simply “active” listening.  That means you are concentrating your attention completely on the other person, not the dry cleaning or your next meeting or “what I want to say back.”

Active listening is not too hard, it just takes practice.  When you are working with your student, this is an incredible tool.  Concentrate on what your student is telling you.  If you find yourself getting distracted, just pull yourself back into the conversation.  A great tool for working your “active listening” muscle is the “recap.”  All you do is “recap” what the other person just told you, in your own words.  For instance, “I am sick of math.  It’s stupid.”  “You are so tired of math right now.”  This sounds like elementary communication, but I can tell you, there is nothing in this world that feels quite the same as someone looking you in the eye and “getting you.”  That is powerful. 

Good luck and have fun practicing active listening and recapping with your student.

Please feel free to go to the discussion forum or to http://tutormentorconnection.ning.com to discuss this article.

Maria Murphy writes a monthly Tutor/Mentor Coaching Tip for this site and has been a presenter for Cabrini Connection’s Tutor/Mentor Conference. She is a speaker, consultant and writer. The full article can be found on her blog column at http://simplyputtogether.blogspot.com/