It’s a funny thing about progress.  We can forget where we once were very easily.  I mean, I remember a time when the only way you could see a film was on the big screen or when and/or if it hit the TV for some Sunday night special.  I was very young, mind you.  But I remember.  Now I can have cable, DVD’s or videos streamed in to my computer.  (I really love that one.)

My kids and I have this running joke.  It goes something like this.  “Mom, when you were a kid, did you have cars?”  Please note that each of these questions is followed by a giggle.  My response of course goes something like this.  “Absolutely not.  We didn’t even have houses.”  “  Mom, when you were a kid, did you have refrigerators?”    “  No, honey.  We collected berries in the woods every day.”  Now, if I am feeling like I am on my mark, I will add some education to our game.  That would go like this.  “By the way, your great grandparents were the first generation to have refrigerators. “  It is a fun little game we play, but it’s strange.  Once we reach a point, we can quickly forget what things were like before that.

That is also true of our kids and their progress.  Most kids don’t sit in their rooms at night reveling in how they finally mastered subtraction.  They just move on.  The problem with not paying heed to our progress?  It is easier to get disheartened.

One quick way to fix that is to be your kid’s progress minder.  Bring them back every now and then and remind them of their accomplishments.  “Johnnie, remember how hard it was to memorize those multiplication tables?  Look at you now.  You totally have it down.  Amazing.” 

Whenever my daughter is scared, I remind her of the time she broke her arm and had to walk across a playground to get an adult to help her.  I remind her of the strength.  That story is now a part of her lore, her identity. 

Look at your child and make a point of reminding them of their accomplishments.  It will only take a few minutes, but it will help them keep their chins up when the going gets tough and will remind you as well the amazing amount of growth and development our children are capable of each and every day.

Read more at www.simplyputtogether.com.

Educate staff and volunteers at no cost

We want to encourage you to forward this e-letter to coworkers, supervisors, mentors and teachers.  Your organization is welcome to forward these letters to staff or even add them to the mailing list.  Feel free to add a link to Mentoring Simply Put on your organization's website, newsletter or even to your mailing list.  Volunteers and staff appreciate new tools and strategies for working with kids.  And you can have the benefit of offering additional education for your mentors and tutors at no cost.

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.  ~Victor Borge

Whether we are tutoring a child we have worked with for years, meeting a new student or working with our own children, rapport is essential to making it all work.  What is rapport?  In psychology, we talk rapport all the time.  It is fundamental to successful therapy.  What is it exactly?  It is a genuine liking, regard and trust between two people in a relationship.  Simple?  Yes.  Essential? Most definitely.

The whole idea of rapport in therapy is that you can talk, advise, say whatever you want, but if your patient does not feel connected with you, if they don’t have faith in you, if they don’t “get” you, it will be hard for them to listen to the feedback you have to offer.

I think the same goes for mentoring our kids.  We have to have that connection, that sense of “speaking the same language,” of trust, of “getting” each other to make our mentoring really mean something.

One of the best ways we develop rapport is through laughter. Alan Alda has a great line, “When people are laughing, they're generally not killing each other.” We all know the power of laughing and how it can break down barriers and bond us together.  But in the haste of getting through our mentoring “to do” list, we can forget that stopping for a laugh can make a big difference.

Consider the following for your mentoring laugh track:

1.       Jokes and Such

Using jokes with little kids really gets them going.   Never underestimate the power of a knock-knock joke to a 6 year old.  A favorite joke of mine?  Who is the best elephant singer ever?  Elephant Gerald.  Don’t ask what gets me about that stupid joke, maybe because it’s one of the only jokes I can remember.  Who knows?  But consider getting a few under your belt.  Maybe even ones that are better than mine.  At least you won’t have to explain who Ella Fitzgerald is! Of course, if you must know, this is all part of my stealth learning techniques.  One bad joke and I get to teach a bit about musical history.  All in just a line or two.

2.       Look for the moment

Sometimes the moment is right there.  Something funny is happening.  And sometimes we MISS THE MOMENT.  Just think of how much allowing a shared giggle with your kids will cement the relationship.

3.       Be Silly

I know we have work that has to get done.  Who doesn’t?  But consider being silly now and then.  Just a little.  It allows your student to see you in a different light and it allows you to connect with them on a different level. 

Look for the opportunity to connect with your child through laughter.  You will find that laughter bonds us together like glue.  As light as laughter makes us feel, it helps us connect on a very deep level.  Give it a go.  Try it and see what amazing things follow.

For  more mentoring ideas from Maria,  go to www.simplyputtogether.com.  

 To discuss this article further, go to tutormentorconnection.ning.com.

Left Foot, Left Foot, Right Foot, Right

By Maria Murphy

If only I had a dollar for every time I read that book...Dr Seuss is my hero.  Here is a guy who gets it.  I think I read The Foot Book to my kids a million times.  What is it about Dr. Seuss that is so magical?

The good doctor understands the idea of repetition.  Kids love repetition.  Why?

For one, it’s easier to learn with repetition.  And when we learn, we feel confident.  And confident feels very good, especially to children.  The world is new to them and confidence helps them with their bearings.

Repetition also feels safe.  It is comforting.  A child can trust in that book that they know.  They know what is going to happen and it puts them at ease.

That said, how does repetition help the mentor?

Acceptance.  Learning takes time.  When we mentors accept that we will have to repeat ourselves over and over, it becomes easier to do and it reduces our frustration level.  Being more centered, less aggravated, makes us better at what we do.

Consistency.  If every time you meet with your student, you share consistent themes, you are building trust with your student.  Trust is the cornerstone of all relationships.  When you share consistent themes, you help your student see who you are, what you value and they build confidence in you.  When some of my older nieces began driving and I would walk them out to the car after a visit, I would repeat over and over, "Always wear your seatbelt."  They would roll their eyes some, but one of them told me that, even years later, she couldn't get into the car without seeing me leaning in and looking her in the eyes, with my words ricocheting around in her head.

Vocabulary.  Just because you repeat the same themes over and over does not mean you have to use the exact same vocabulary.  For the things we want kids to learn, sending the messages in different ways just makes sense.  When we look for opportunities to share stories, or share the same message in a slightly different way, we help our kids get the material they need.

It’s almost the beginning of the school year.  Let’s take this time to start on the right foot with our kids.  Repetition is a valuable tool we can use to help our kids grow and learn, both academically and emotionally.

Stop by my site and visit!  Check out my kids and family page for more ideas, including some great recycle art projects kids of all ages will love!   Click here to go to www.simplyputtogether.com .