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AIM High: and get RESPECT By Maria Murphy, MA, LCPC Everyone wants respect. And working with kids, sometimes I am astounded by the lack of respect that comes out of their mouths. Terrible, just terrible. Well, kind of. I mean, who wants a kid with lip, right? But it happens. It‘s inevitable. Just today, my beautiful, emotionally versatile pre-teen actually said to me “I have had just about enough of that!” I almost passed out. Worse, I almost fell into the first deadly trap of fostering disrespect. Avoiding the obvious. 1. Address the Obvious If your student is showing disrespect, don’t pretend it isn’t happening. Address it. I was so shocked today I almost did nothing. That would have been a big mistake. I would have been sending a message to my daughter that treating me with disrespect was okay. I would also have been sending her the message that I either am not listening to her or just don’t care. Addressing the obvious lets your kid know that you are present, that you care and that other people matter. 2. Inside Scoop Kids have to LEARN to be respectful. Consider what you are doing as an opportunity to give them the inside scoop, the goods on how to communicate effectively. I told my daughter that she could always tell me how she felt, but that she needed to express herself in ways that were respectful. I didn’t scowl, judge or humiliate. A good parenting moment for me, thank God. I set limits and educated. Not so hard. She was actually sorry and told me exactly what she was feeling. 3. Model the runway Hey, if you were a model, you would have your best face on as you hit that runway. Your walk, sway, how you carry yourself would mean everything. But that is exactly what we need to do every time we spend time with our students. Except, instead of walking down the runway, we need to show compassion, patience and a willingness to treat others with respect. It is one of the best ways to teach the kids we care so much about. Try these three steps and see quickly you build respect with your student! Go to www.simplyputtogether.com and sign up for monthly mentoring tips.
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