Entries for 'simplyputtogether.com'

 5 Ways to Motivate your Mentor Volunteers

Volunteering is a job many of us love. The feeling of helping others can build our sense of meaning about our lives and the contribution or stamp we want to leave on this planet.  But keeping mentors coming, keeping them motivated and free from burnout can be a challenge. Here are some simple strategies to keep your volunteers motivated and commited to your organization. 

1. Know them.  Take the extra time to get to know your volunteers.  Know their names, even something about their personal or professional lives.  Sometimes we can forget the incredible experience and talents that rest behind the volunteers' eyes.

2.  Make them work.  No volunteer wants to stand around wondering why they are wasting their time.  They want to work, want to contribute.  Make sure that resource is not wasted.

3. Appreciate them.  Say thank you and then say thank you again.  Volunteers don't get paid in cash.  They get paid in feeling that what they did mattered and that they matter.  Make sure they know what they are doing has value and that you and the organization appreciate them.

4. Match them up.  Don't make the extrovert sort the closet or the introvert speak to a group of 50.  Match skills and comfort levels with tasks.

5. Use a team effort.  This job of keeping volunteers coming needs to be a community effort.  Paid employees, management,  and other leadership, need to work together to create a culture that systematically and consistently welcomes, utilizes and appreciates the volunteer.

Maria Murphy writes for Tutor Mentor Connection with the Monthly Mentoring Tip. To get on the mailing list, go to www.simplyputtogether.com.

7 Ways to Build a Child’s Self Esteem

1.  Smile big.  Sound silly?  Every time you see your child, give them a great big greeting.  Not spooky and exaggerated, just genuine and excited.  This makes children feel important.

2.  Catch them being good.  Look for a chance to catch them being kind, thoughtful, smart, etc. and let them know.

3.  Make a goal with them and help them reach it.  Teach children how to make a goal and attain it.  This builds confidence and the benefits will last a very long time.

4.  Edit yourself.  Make sure you think before you speak.  Negative words can stay with children well into adulthood.

5.  Love yourself.  The best way to help children develop self esteem is to have it yourself.  Watch your own feelings about yourself.  Self-deprecating remarks model for kids too.

6.  Both ears.  Really listen.  When we only listen with “one ear,” we are dismissive to children.  STOP and listen.

7.  Body moves.  Did you know that over 50% of our communication is non-verbal?  When you say “great work” regarding the “B” on a test, but your face is all pinched up, kids know what you are really saying.  The even worse news?  They don’t know how to trust their instincts.  After all, you are saying one thing and doing another.  Scary.

These are some simple strategies to help build self esteem in children every day.

Maria Murphy writes for Tutor Mentor Connection with the Monthly Mentoring Tip. To get on the mailing list, go to www.simplyputtogether.com.

My son and I have a tradition of watching Scooby Doo.  I get to relive my childhood and he gets great mommy time.  Yes, he is shocked that Scooby Doo is older than me.  Of course, there are times he asks if we had cars when I was a kid.  He’s such a tease!  So, in this episode, (my new favorite,) spastic Shaggy takes on a whole new persona. 

Velma’s cousin meets him and falls head over heels.  She thinks he is brave and honorable and amazing.  And guess who became brave and honorable and amazing?  You got it.  Shaggy.  He even donned a suit of armor in one scene.  And even the cartoonist painted him in a more attractive light.  Nice.

This got me to thinking about the people in our lives, how we look at them and how that affects them.  Shaggy felt the light of being believed in and it made him rise to the occasion.  He found strength inside of him.  Strength no one really saw before.  Even him.

How often do we shed the light of belief and instead, shadow those we care about with our doubts about them?  What happens when, instead, we show them we believe in their power to find their strength? 

 Whether it is your child, your student, your employee or your acquaintance, what if you made sure they knew you believed in them?  What if you challenged that shadow of disbelief and hung onto the light of confidence in another?  I know it isn’t fool proof and people can let you down.  But I know when I tell someone “I know we can work this out” or “I know you can get this,” most times it works out.

Consider taking a lesson from my favorite cartoon characters and watch how your mentoring ability soars simply by believing in someone and showing it.

Learn more about Maria at www.simplyputtogether.com .

As parents and mentors, we are role models, leading our kids toward the adulthood we hope they will have.  Our jobs vary from teaching the 3R’s to giving guidance on sticky situations to, at times, laying down the law.  I admit, I can be a jabber jaw.  I like to tell it and tell it again.  But the reality is, with kids, short and sweet is the answer.  We want them to learn and know the reasoning and get where we are coming from, but all that lecturing doesn’t really work, does it?  Truth be known, how much does it even work for us as adults?  No one enjoys and earful and most of us shut off after that droning begins.  The answer?

The One-Minute Lesson

If your student is caught cheating, you could go on a lengthy diatribe about honesty and their future, or you could say.  “I’m really glad we are talking about this.  I believe cheating is a short cut that ends up costing you, like it did when you got caught.  I also believe it is wrong.  I have been there and cheated myself.  Even when it worked, I knew it was wrong and I felt miserable.  I’d rather do the work and feel good about myself.  I’m glad you told me.  Let’s get back to work.  This math is really tough!”

1.      Gratitude – for the opportunity to talk about the issue.

2.       Value – How you feel about the issue and why.

3.       Personal experience – How this issue affects you (use caution and be appropriate in disclosure.)

4.       State the positive.

5.       Move on!

What is the power in the One-Minute Lesson?  Chances are, you have their attention.  What you are saying will be heard.  Second, it keeps you on track and prevents you from losing your way with a long-winded lecture.  We all remember what it was like when it was lecture time, shifting in our seats while we were stuck listening to something that seemed completely irrelevant.  Forget it!  Keep it to a minute instead.  Third, we are laying groundwork.  With a tiny seed like the One-Minute Lesson, there is plenty of room to repeat the message and send many more.  Instead of sharing our wisdom in long sessions, we are offering mini-sound bites for our kids to grab.

Give it a try.  See how effective small lessons can be when you share them with gratitude and simplicity. 

Have a great month and remember to stop at www.simplyputtogether.com for more tips and tools.

AIM High:  and get RESPECT

By Maria Murphy, MA, LCPC

Everyone wants respect.  And working with kids, sometimes I am astounded by the lack of respect that comes out of their mouths.  Terrible, just terrible.  Well, kind of.  I mean, who wants a kid with lip, right?  But it happens.  It‘s inevitable.  Just today, my beautiful, emotionally versatile pre-teen actually said to me “I have had just about enough of that!”  I almost passed out.  Worse, I almost fell into the first deadly trap of fostering disrespect.  Avoiding the obvious.

1.       Address the Obvious

If your student is showing disrespect, don’t pretend it isn’t happening.  Address it.  I was so shocked today I almost did nothing.  That would have been a big mistake.  I would have been sending a message to my daughter that treating me with disrespect was okay.  I would also have been sending her the message that I either am not listening to her or just don’t care.  Addressing the obvious lets your kid know that you are present, that you care and that other people matter.

2.       Inside Scoop

Kids have to LEARN to be respectful.  Consider what you are doing as an opportunity to give them the inside scoop, the goods on how to communicate effectively.  I told my daughter that she could always tell me how she felt, but that she needed to express herself in ways that were respectful.  I didn’t scowl, judge or humiliate.  A good parenting moment for me, thank God.  I set limits and educated.  Not so hard.  She was actually sorry and told me exactly what she was feeling. 

3.       Model the runway

Hey, if you were a model, you would have your best face on as you hit that runway.  Your walk, sway, how you carry yourself would mean everything.  But that is exactly what we need to do every time we spend time with our students.  Except, instead of walking down the runway, we need to show compassion, patience and a willingness to treat others with respect.  It is one of the best ways to teach the kids we care so much about. 

Try these three steps and see quickly you build respect with your student!

Go to www.simplyputtogether.com and sign up for monthly mentoring tips.