Mentor Censor

By Maria Murphy

We are there to help these kids, right?  So, it is natural that we have to talk about their progress, their milestones and their barriers.  True.  Very true.  But how we talk about our kids is very important.  Sometimes we (this means me) forget about something important.

Privacy.

You know what I am talking about here.  Little Jonny is standing next to you and the teacher is telling you how he was acting out in class and you are nodding and then you add that he was struggling to pay attention last week when you were together.  Of course, neither of you notice the other student walking by or the kids seated at their desks with their ears subtly pointed in your direction.

Well, I have been there.  Been there with my students and with my own children.  It’s not easy to censor ourselves when it comes to kids.  We want to help them, this is true, but we can forget their own need for privacy and dignity.  Yet, let’s face it; each and every one of us remembers what it felt like when adults did it to us.  We aren’t being malicious, just a bit thoughtless, really.  What to do?

Here are a couple of tools to help you protect your student’s privacy and dignity.

·         Consider who is in earshot whenever discussing your student.

·         Consider if the information being shared is appropriate for the student to hear.

·         Always have an alternative location in mind for chatting.  If someone approaches you about your student, guide them to the private area.

·         Have an exit plan.  If someone is talking about your student or another inappropriately, have a way out.  “I was just running to catch someone. I’ll speak with you later.”

·         Assert yourself.  “This isn’t the right spot to talk.”

·         Speak openly to others about the need to reinforce confidentiality.

Sometimes we mentors just need to remind ourselves to censor our well meaning dialogue about the students we care so much about.  See what happens when you develop a mindset of censoring and only discuss your student in an environment that affords privacy and dignity.

Have a great month and believe in the power of your every contribution!

Please feel free to go to: Tutor/Mentor Connection at Ning to discuss this article.

Maria Murphy writes a monthly Tutor/Mentor Coaching Tip for this site and has been a presenter for Cabrini Connection’s Tutor/Mentor Conference. She is a speaker, consultant and writer. Other articles can be found on her Mentoring Simply Put blog or her website Simply Put Together.